trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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