You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
