you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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