i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
