i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I did not marry a roomba.
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