you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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