He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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