apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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