i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
