He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
