there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
