omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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