Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just saw a hot homeless man
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
