Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
