Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
