Buhtt sex?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
