I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize