im about as happy as oj after his trial
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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