Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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