I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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