hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
