I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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