Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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