Can Purell be used as lube?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
