Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
