You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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