If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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