Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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