omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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