haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
