They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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