therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
