chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Green mimosas i think yes
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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