You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize