he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize