At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
