You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize