Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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