I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
