he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Randomize
