I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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