Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
