On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
