I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That accounts for only three of the penises
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
