Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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