I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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