if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
accomplished twins. life is a go
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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