He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize