Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
