capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
