I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
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the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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