You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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