When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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