Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
