I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize