Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
