My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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