I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
