is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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