how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
