i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
